10 Powerful Things to Say to Your Kids
Words that build resilience and deep connection
These phrases help bolster your relationship with your child and their resilience in the world.
Watch Eli share the 10 powerful phrases
What is mentionable is manageable.
— Mr. Rogers
10 Powerful Things
to Say to Your Kids
Words that build resilience and deep connection.
These phrases help bolster your relationship and your child's resilience in the world.
Attachment Nerd
I'll Help You Through It
No matter what hard thing you are going through in your life, I will always be here to help you get through it.
Why It Matters
This helps them truly hear that showing up for them is not a burden—it's something you are dedicated to doing. While you're here, your goal is to be part of helping them through life's hard stuff.
You Can Talk to Me
There is nothing that you can't talk to me about. I will always be here for the weird, awkward, or scary conversations.
"What is mentionable is manageable." — Mr. Rogers
If kids think there are things they can't talk to us about, they'll talk to other kids instead. We want them to know we can handle things even if they're uncomfortable.
Not Your Job to Please Me
It's not your job to make me happy. It's your job to figure out who you are and to be true to those things, to cultivate your own sense of fulfillment.
Why It Matters
When kids feel burdened to please us, they sacrifice their own inner knowing. We want them to live out of authentic desire—not fear of disappointing us.
I Will Believe You
If you ever tell me that someone is making you uncomfortable, scaring you, or hurting you—I will always believe you.
"I will help you get safe and make sure it stops happening."
You Don't Owe Me
You don't owe me a thing. The joy of getting to be your parent is the only payment that I ever need.
Why It Matters
A debt-free dynamic doesn't make them want to run off. It validates their own desires so they aren't stuck with obligation—they get to be free to want to be around you.
The Luckiest Thing
The most lucky thing that has ever happened to me in all of my life is getting to be your parent.
Kids bring sacrifice and burdens to our life. That's normal. They can sense that. They also need to hear that at the end of the day, it's all worth it.
I'll Make It Right
I'm not always gonna get it right with you. But when I get it wrong, I promise I will put in the effort to make it right between us.
Why It Matters
No parent gets it right all the time. But we can create a dynamic where we're secure enough to get feedback—and model repair so they learn to do it in their relationships.
Unconditional Love
There is nothing you can do to make me love you less or to make me love you more. Your place in my heart is unconditional.
It's one thing to be loved when performing. It's another to know you're loved at your best and your worst—that your parents unconditionally accept and adore you.
I Learn From You Too
When we disagree, I will always put in work to understand what I can learn from you—not just what you can learn from me.
Especially for Teens
If we stand on "I'm always right, I'm the teacher, you're the learner"—we miss out on so much. Mutual learning cultivates trust and a desire to grow together.
Your Soul's Approval
It's not your job to seek my approval. It's your job to live in such a way that the deepest parts of your soul approve—even if that disappoints me.
Kids need to hear out loud: just because you've disappointed me doesn't mean you're a disappointment to me. Sometimes our expectations aren't in line with what they need to live their best lives.
These things are much easier said in a video than lived out in our relationships with our kids...
Which is why the Secure Parenting Program exists.
For all of us working to break cycles and create more secure patterns.
Attachment Nerd
Say It & Mean It
The Secure Parenting Program
- 6-week program + lifetime access
- Monthly Q&A with Eli
- Support groups included
- Topic-specific resources for all ages
*Pay What You Can option available for those with financial strain.
Research shows secure parent-child connections are in sync only 30-50% of the time. It's about repair, not perfection.
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Say It & Mean It
The Secure Parenting Program
These things are much easier said than lived out. The Secure Parenting Program helps you embody these words so your child can truly feel them.
- 6-week transformational course
- Lifetime access
- Monthly live Q&As with Eli
- Bi-monthly support groups
- Guides for infants to teens
- Tools for co-parenting & more
Financial strain? I don't care. I want you in the program. Pay What You Can option available.
"This program changed everything for our family. I finally understand myself and my kids."
— Sarah M., mom of 3