The Five Gifts of a Secure Parent: What Your Child Really Needs From You

These are the five core experiences that help your child grow up confident, resilient, and deeply connected to you — even if you didn’t get them yourself.

If you didn’t grow up with emotionally steady, deeply present caregivers, it can feel confusing to even name what a “secure parent” is — let alone become one. In this masterclass, I’ll walk you through the five gifts you can give your child: the feeling that you can handle their emotions, understand their inner world, actually want them close, show up in the moments that matter, and accept their full, authentic self.

The 5 Gifts of a
Secure Parent

The inheritance of emotional connection.

Based on the Masterclass by Eli Harwood. Goals to help our kids grow up and out with confidence and empathy.

Attachment Nerd

I Can Handle Your Emotions

"My parent cares about what I feel and knows how to support me."

Take a sip without lugging it down.

Stay present. Don't be repulsed by their feelings, but don't get lost in them either. Be the calm they can borrow.

I Understand Your Perspective

Curiosity > Conversion

Even if they are wired differently. Even if they think eggs are disgusting and you love them.

"When I say no, does it feel like I don't care about you? I'm so glad you told me that."

Essential!

I Want You Close To Me

"Wagging Tail Energy"

No one is ever confused if their dog is happy they are home. Our kids need that same enthusiasm.

"I am so glad you are here."

I Show Up For You

The Tender & The Triumphant

The Struggle

"We're gonna figure this out together."

The Joy

"I want to join you in your joy."

It's not about fixing or rescuing. It's about being the "Slate Sandwich" (a comforting wrap) when they are overwhelmed.

I Celebrate Your Authentic Self

"My parent is proud of every part of me."

If they are introverted and you are extroverted, work through your own triggers so they don't carry shame for who they are wired to be.

Real Talk: The Curve

30-50%

The "Good Enough" Zone

Research shows secure dyads are in sync only 30-50% of the time. You don't need an A+. You just need to pass.

The Magic of Repair

"I'm so sorry. I was tired. Can I have a do-over?"

Secure relationships are built by repair, not by never breaking.

Deepen Your Practice

The Secure Parenting Program

Lifetime access to 6-week module
Honesty Hours (Support Groups)
Live Q&As with Eli
Tactics for Tots to Teens

*Pay What You Can option available.

Join the Program

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Secure Parenting Program

“ I walked away feeling like I was going to be OK, and could handle whatever comes my way. “Thank you!” does not feel sufficient!!!”

— Melinda C

Six weeks of bite‑size videos
Lifetime Access
Live Q&A with Eli for your specific questions
Support & Community Groups

Launch Sale — 50% OFF

$397

$197

Complete lifetime program

What you'd spend on one month of family therapy — but this lasts a lifetime

🚀 Secure your spot now

Pay-What-You-Can

My Promise to Your Family

I genuinely care about your experience in the Secure Parenting Program. If something goes wrong or isn't working for your family, tell me. Your journey matters to me, and I'll do whatever I can to make it right.

Not quite ready? Dive deeper into the Program or explore the free resources